WEGO Health writers challenge Day #9-- parenting while sick.

Here is today's prompt. I know, I'm totally late--->

HAWMC Day 9:

As a parent with health conditions or parent to a child(ren) with health conditions, what do you hope you’re doing right?

The hardest thing about being sick wasn't the pain. It wasn't losing a job I loved. It wasn't the meds that made me ugly and crazy. It wasn't the hospitalizations. It was how many times I had to tell my daughter, "No". Her PreK, Kinder and 1st grade was consumed with a mom who was always in bed, in pain, in the bathroom, half asleep, on pain meds, in the hospital, at the doctor.... the list goes on. I stopped making promises because I couldn't keep them. I knew if I said we would go to the park tomorrow, chances were that I would in no way be able to handle that. Seeing disappointment on her face so many times killed me. She hated when I was in the hospital. I don't know how much it freaked her out. I know she hated seeing all my IVs and the PICC line and she saw at least one blood transfusion. It was very, very difficult to explain. After my surgery she became more curious as I got better. She would ask to see my stoma. It didn't gross her out. She asked if she would have to get her large intestines taken out. Again, I didn't want to give a false promise so I just said that I hoped not. She told her teacher last year that her Mommy got her large intestines taken out. Her teacher didn't believe her. I'm not sure where she thought a 7 year old would come up with that on her own!! Things are better now. I felt guilty for not being fully present for so long. I felt guilty of the days I was missing. I hated UC for making me unable to be involved with my child. 

Family visits in the big H.

What I hope I did and continue to do right, is just be honest. I never lied about how I felt or what I was going through. She knew my pain. She knew my wounds. Saw my hair fall out. Saw me stapled shut. I always try to be as honest as it is appropriate for her age. I think it makes her understand and not be resentful. If I had hid it, she wouldn't have really 'gotten' it and then possibly would have just resented that I never wanted to play with her.
I hope anyway. I know having surgery gave me my life back. If I lay in bed now, it's a choice, not a necessity. Things have improved. My daughter hasn't forgotten. She's happy I'm better and can be more involved and I think I've disolved any leftover fears she might have had. I hope. 

Here is today's prompt. I know, I'm totally late--->

HAWMC Day 9:

As a parent with health conditions or parent to a child(ren) with health conditions, what do you hope you’re doing right?

The hardest thing about being sick wasn't the pain. It wasn't losing a job I loved. It wasn't the meds that made me ugly and crazy. It wasn't the hospitalizations. It was how many times I had to tell my daughter, "No". Her PreK, Kinder and 1st grade was consumed with a mom who was always in bed, in pain, in the bathroom, half asleep, on pain meds, in the hospital, at the doctor.... the list goes on. I stopped making promises because I couldn't keep them. I knew if I said we would go to the park tomorrow, chances were that I would in no way be able to handle that. Seeing disappointment on her face so many times killed me. She hated when I was in the hospital. I don't know how much it freaked her out. I know she hated seeing all my IVs and the PICC line and she saw at least one blood transfusion. It was very, very difficult to explain. After my surgery she became more curious as I got better. She would ask to see my stoma. It didn't gross her out. She asked if she would have to get her large intestines taken out. Again, I didn't want to give a false promise so I just said that I hoped not. She told her teacher last year that her Mommy got her large intestines taken out. Her teacher didn't believe her. I'm not sure where she thought a 7 year old would come up with that on her own!! Things are better now. I felt guilty for not being fully present for so long. I felt guilty of the days I was missing. I hated UC for making me unable to be involved with my child. 

Family visits in the big H.

What I hope I did and continue to do right, is just be honest. I never lied about how I felt or what I was going through. She knew my pain. She knew my wounds. Saw my hair fall out. Saw me stapled shut. I always try to be as honest as it is appropriate for her age. I think it makes her understand and not be resentful. If I had hid it, she wouldn't have really 'gotten' it and then possibly would have just resented that I never wanted to play with her.
I hope anyway. I know having surgery gave me my life back. If I lay in bed now, it's a choice, not a necessity. Things have improved. My daughter hasn't forgotten. She's happy I'm better and can be more involved and I think I've disolved any leftover fears she might have had. I hope.